HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOUR CHILD NEEDS HELP 

Kimberly Kline, LPC

This questionnaire is designed to help parents recognize that children function in several arenas.  So, realizing that not just ONE problem always necessitates professional help for a child is important.  They may have poor functioning in one arena but may function fine in all others.  This will also help you to recognize what arena to refocus or redirect your parenting efforts in.  If your child demonstrates problems in several arenas of life you need to consider that he/she is struggling with issues that may require intervention. This can certainly serve as a call to be more interested and to communicate with your child about their functioning in these areas.   

So….If you answer yes to at least 4 of any of these items, you should consider seeking help for your child. 

HOME

___Your child isolates him/herself in their room for most of their time and does not seem to want to or enjoy (and may even be hostile about) spending time with the family..

___He/she cries frequently and cannot seem to calm down in a short period of time (daily they are having some form of fit or crying spell)..

___Your child engages in raging fits and/or argues intensely (including yelling at you) almost daily..

___You go to bed almost every night feeling as if you are mad at your child or feeling sad that you are ineffective with your child..

___He/she refuses to participate in chores or activities you require of them..

___Your child does not respond to discipline you set out..

___Your child seems “joyless”..

___Your child cannot sleep well at night..

___He/she is intentionally mean and hurtful to siblings or to parent..

___Your child says he/she would rather be dead or threaten to run away frequently                  

FRIENDS / SOCIAL

___Your child cannot keep friendships very long..

___He/she cannot make friends on their own or may seem very nervous in groups or with their peers.

___They may get into fights frequently with other kids or siblings.

___Your child frequently says he/she would “rather be alone” or with you than to play with friends.. 

___Your child will not go to sleep overs or spend any real length of time away from you..

___Your family members say they are concerned about your child or criticize how you parent..

___Your child’s friends or using drugs and/or alcohol and may be in trouble frequently..

EXTRA CURRICULAR/LEISURE

___Your child shows no interest on extra curricular activities (sports, clubs, events, etc)..

___He/she does not invite friends to the house to play and watches more than 2.5 hours of TV a day.  Or is on the computer for more than 2.5 hours a day.

___Your child shows no confidence in their ability to succeed at activities..

___He/she cries frequently when engaged in sports or games (for children older than 3)..

___Your child criticizes or has a derogatory attitude toward those who are successful and happy with their achievements..

SCHOOL

___Your child’s teacher has suggested that your child see the school counselor,  or you have been called in to speak to the teachers in the day care or pre school  (your child is a behavior problem in class)..

___Your child will not discuss any of their days events with you and constantly seems angry when they come home from school..

___Your child gets highly upset and frustrated while doing homework and takes extra long doing the work..

___He/she constantly has stomach aches and/or headaches and does not want to go to school..

___Your child has significant test anxiety and their grades are poor..

___Your child is ADD/ADHD..

LEGAL

___Your child has been arrested..

___Your child steals and lies frequently..

___Your child has problems with most authority figures..

___Your child has a derogatory attitude regarding laws and the legal system (including Police and other community helpers)..

MEDICAL

___Your child has had a major medical illness or medical trauma (car accident or other           accident with injuries) which required a hospital stay..

___Your child has frequent medical issues which require you to take them to the doctor..

___Your child wont’t eat healthy food or take vitamins and craves sugar constantly..

___He/she throws up frequently..

___He/she has a phobia..

___Your child wets the bed (over age 4) or has bowel accidents (encopresis)..

___Your child loses or gains weight too quickly and/or your child won’t eat with the family or in public and/or won’t eat much at all for over 4 months..

Good luck, and remember that you always create what you believe.

ADULTS:

Is therapy right for me?

Seeking out therapy is an individual choice. There are many reasons why people come to therapy. Sometimes it is to deal with long-standing psychological issues, or problems with anxiety or depression. Other times it is in response to unexpected changes in one's life such as a divorce or work transition. Many seek the advice of counsel as they pursue their own personal exploration and growth. Working with a therapist can help provide insight, support, and new strategies for all types of life challenges. Therapy can help address many types of issues including depression, anxiety, conflict, grief, stress management, body-image issues, and general life transitions. Therapy is right for anyone who is interested in getting the most out of their life by taking responsibility, creating greater self-awareness, and working towards change in their lives.

Do I really need therapy?  I can usually handle my problems.

Everyone goes through challenging situations in life, and while you may have successfully navigated through other difficulties you've faced, there's nothing wrong with seeking out extra support when you need it. In fact, therapy is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand, and that is something to be admired. You are taking responsibility by accepting where you're at in life and making a commitment to change the situation by seeking therapy. Therapy provides long-lasting benefits and support, giving you the tools you need to avoid triggers, re-direct damaging patterns, and overcome whatever challenges you face.

How can therapy help me?

A number of benefits are available from participating in psychotherapy. Therapists can provide support, problem-solving skills, and enhanced coping strategies for issues such as depression, anxiety, relationship troubles, unresolved childhood issues, grief, stress management, body image issues and creative blocks. Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, interpersonal relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life. Therapists can provide a fresh perspective on a difficult problem or point you in the direction of a solution. The benefits you obtain from therapy depend on how well you use the process and put into practice what you learn. Some of the benefits available from therapy include:

• Attaining a better understanding of yourself, your goals and values
• Developing skills for improving your relationships
• Finding resolution to the issues or concerns that led you to seek therapy
• Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety
• Managing anger, grief, depression, and other emotional pressures
• Improving communications and listening skills
• Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones
• Discovering new ways to solve problems in your family or marriage
• Improving your self-esteem and boosting self-confidence

What is therapy like? 

Every therapy session is unique and caters to each individual and their specific goals. It is standard for therapists to discuss the primary issues and concerns in your life during therapy sessions. It is common to schedule a series of weekly sessions, where each session lasts around fifty minutes. Therapy can be short-term, focusing on a specific issue, or longer-term, addressing more complex issues or ongoing personal growth. There may be times when you are asked to take certain actions outside of the therapy sessions, such as reading a relevant book or keeping records to track certain behaviors. It is important to process what has been discussed and integrate it into your life between sessions. For therapy to be most effective you must be an active participant, both during and between the sessions. People seeking psychotherapy are willing to take responsibility for their actions, work towards self-change and create greater awareness in their lives. Here are some things you can expect out of therapy:

• Compassion, respect and understanding
• Perspectives to illuminate persistent patterns and negative feelings
• Real strategies for enacting positive change
• Effective and proven techniques along with practical guidance
  

Is medication a substitute for therapy?

In some cases a combination of medication and therapy is the right course of action. Working with your medical doctor you can determine what's best for you. It is well established that the long-term solution to mental and emotional problems and the pain they cause cannot be solved solely by medication. Instead of just treating the symptom, therapy addresses the cause of our distress and the behavior patterns that curb our progress. You can best achieve sustainable growth and a greater sense of well-being with an integrative approach to wellness.

Do you accept insurance? How does insurance work?

To determine if you have mental health coverage, the first thing you should do is check with your insurance carrier. Check your coverage carefully and find the answers to the following questions:

• What are my mental health benefits?
• What is the coverage amount per therapy session?
• How many therapy sessions does my plan cover?
• How much does my insurance pay for an out-of-network provider?
• Is approval required from my primary care physician?

Is therapy confidential?

In general, the law protects the confidentiality of all communications between a client and psychotherapist. No information is disclosed without prior written permission from the client.

However, there are some exceptions required by law to this rule. Exceptions include:

• Suspected child abuse or dependant adult or elder abuse. The therapist is required to report this to the appropriate authorities immediately.
• If a client is threatening serious bodily harm to another person. The therapist is required to notify the police.
• If a client intends to harm himself or herself. The therapist will make every effort to work with the individual to ensure their safety. However, if an individual does not cooperate, additional measures may need to be taken.

from therapysites.com